A promise is a promise--and we have some great ones lined up, and ready to be 'sold'! On Wednesday January 11, 2012, students and faculty will be auctioning promises for charity.
Proceeds will go to The Child and Family Caring Society of Canada, which is advocating equitable child welfare services on reserves (for more information on their ongoing litigation see: http://www.fncfcs.com/fnwitness/importance).
"Currently, child welfare funding is about a third lower per capita on reserves than off them (same goes for education and health funding). This is wrong," says first-year law student, Andrew Stobo Sniderman who organized the event.
But rather than raising funds the more traditional student-like way [bake sales, draws, etc.] Sniderman opted for something a little different.
"It's a hoot to create a free market for awesome things you can't buy in a store."
A silent auction will be held from 9 AM – 5 PM outside the Rowell Room, in Flavelle House at the Faculty of Law. A live auction will be held in the Rowell Room from 12:00-12:30 pm.
Faculty and staff are encouraged to bid on the many fantastic items. Some law faculty and staff (Dean Mayo Moran, Professor Douglas Sanderson, Merril Randell) have made promises. A full list of promises is pasted below.
LIVE AUCTION (12:00-12:30 in the Rowell Room)
1) Home-cooked, world-famous roast chicken for 4 with the Dean, Prof. Mayo Moran
2) 1 hour flight with some serious acrobatics
3) 2 hours of cuddles and play with the cutest and happiest dog in the world.
4) Tag-team cleaning of winner's apartment while wearing silly outfits of his or her choice. Outfit options include: (a) business casual attire; (b) sports apparel; or (c) fancy dress. Soundtrack options include: (a) '90s hip hop; or (b) '70s classic rock.
5) Motorcycle tour of Toronto
6) Hands-on introduction to handling Canadian Army personal and support weapons at the Moss Park Armoury. To include the C7A2 assault rifle, C9 light machine gun, C6 general purpose machine gun, and 84mm recoilless rifle. 3 spots available.
7) lunch with Bob Rae, Leader of the Liberal Party, former Ontario Premier, U of T law alum and overall pretty cool guy
8) Promise to play my bagpipes at an event of one's choice, and/or give some instruction and background on the pipes.
SILENT AUCTION (9 AM- 5 PM outside Rowell Room)
ADVENTURE
1) 1 Algonquin canoe trip plan (includes map of route (you choose entry point), rental details, equipment recommendations and food packing list). The perfect plan for a long-weekend adventure.
2) Guided snowshoe trip for two in High Park
3) A custom made 'Choose Your Own Adventure' novella
4) Brutalist architecture tour of downtown Toronto. Ideal for anyone interested in an architecture tour but not the one above. Tour may include a private Brutalist residence, a Brutalist portrait of the winning bidder, and/or drinks to follow. No warranties as to quality of information to be imparted.
5) Tour of the ROM's Dinosaur Hall (I am a dinosaur expert)
6) Afternoon shoptailing delight! Shopping and cocktails (shoptailing!) abound on this afternoon tour of some of Toronto's best vintage and consignment stores! I'll take up to 4 bidders on this amazing treasure hunt and promise not to fight you over all the awesome shoes we find!
7) Art Deco architecture tour of downtown Toronto
CLOTHING/ ART
1) Professional Photo Shoot (www.josephkalis.com)
2) Draw a picture in pencil/conte of someone or something
3) Acrylic painting of person of your choice (18 inches x 12 inches on canvas)
4) A reproduction of a master's painting, on canvas and in acrylic. Master of your choice
5) A framed picture of a person of your choice, and her or his celebrity lookalike (as calculated by a complicated Internet algorithm - perfect gift for loved ones, assuming they don't look like an undesirable celebrity)
6) Design and make custom wire jewelry for you or your significant other (supplies provided)
7) Hand-painted (acrylic) t-shirt design
8) Knit a scarf in a color of your choice. Pattern determined in consultation.
9) Knit a tuque
10)A handknit hat -- you choose the colour and pattern.
11)One hand-sewn lined tote bag made from your own sentimental fabric. I will turn your frosh t-shirt, old cotton hoodie, wedding dress or other sentimental fabric item into a useful tote bag. Works best with cotton or blends.
FOOD
1) Egyptian Dinner for 4
2) Celebration cake (for wedding, giant birthday party or other mega event) for 60-100 people
3) Basket of homemade baked goods (cookies, pies and the like)
4) Two dozen ginger molasses cookies, a cup of hot chocolate and some custom-made ninja/robot art.
5) The Prairie Positive Dinner!: Two bidders are invited to join us for dinner as we exercise our two shared talents: love of Saskatchwan and the ability to give awesome pep talks. We will cook, serve, and eat some awesome Saskatchwan-style food while discussing the following three topics: (1) How awesome you are, (2) How awesome we are, (3) How awesome life is!
6) A lesson on how to make Sangria - includes jug full of home made sangria to take home
7) Dinner with Professor Douglas Sanderson and his Indian friend at the new aboriginal restaurant on Queens St., featuring the opportunity to ask a real, live Indian anything and everything they ever wanted to know about Indians
8) Dinner for 3 at Massey College. Gown, pomp, and architectural splendour included. Snuff (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snuff) optional but encouraged.
9) 20-pieces homemade baklava (phyllo, walnut filling, butter no-shortening)
10)Home-baked Chocolate Masala cake with Cardamom Cream Cheese Frosting (your choice of double-layer cake or 18 cupcakes) (non-vegan)
11)A home-cooked lunch with the Nasty-J (DLS war stories included)
12)A guided bagel mission to the best bagel joint in Toronto. Includes a history of the bagel, explanations of the best methods of enjoying said bagels, transit fare to the bagel joint, actual lunch and a dozen bagels & cream cheese to take home as a keepsake of your newfound bagel love.
13)Dinner with an authentic "Bubby." Homemade soup, appetizers, and desserts from centuries-old Polish recipes and a chance to ask anything you've ever wanted to ask of someone who lived through the war and established a new life in Canada. (and if you're nice, a standing invitation to weekly dinners)
MUSIC
1) Piano lessons in that curious building next door (x4)
2) An evening or two of conversation about and analysis of rap music and culture. During such an evening we will offer a historical overview of rap music and explain, with musical accompaniment, some of the key issues and dilemmas (such as the role of gender in rap; drug trade and rap; pop culture and rap; race and rap; conflict and rap; politics and rap; globalization and rap). Offer also includes a playlist of artists and albums to explore as a sort of beginners' guide.
3) Your choice of 1 Hour Violin Lesson or 30 Minutes of Performance.
4) A custom playlist featuring one of the following types of music (the idea being that you should pick a genre you are curious to learn more about and not one you are already knowledgeable of): Oldies, Classic Jazz (vocal, instrumental, or both), Retro French Pop, Classic R&B, Brit Rock, Psychedelic 60's Rock, "Dancey" Nine Inch Nails
5) A capella serenading of a girl/boy of your choice
6) Voice lessons (x 2)
MIND
1) Lessons in business 101 - ie, reading income statements, balance sheets, cash flow statements, doing basic accounting, understanding the stock market, mergers and acquisitions, what corporate lawyers do, what investment bankers do, etc. Basically, my time spent in the MBA boiled down to a few hours.
2) Everything you ever wanted to know about having babies, but were afraid to ask. Are you on the fence about one day becoming a parent? Are you convinced one way or the other and need ammunition to argue your side? Whether it's pregnancy, childbirth or newborns you want to know about, I will not wax poetic about glowing during pregnancy and falling in love with your baby at first sight -- I will tell it to you straight. You can even meet and hang out with my son and daughter who I've managed to keep alive for four and six years respectively.
3) Everything you ever wanted to know about traded stock options and derivatives but were afraid to ask
4) Microsoft Excel Crash Course - Afraid of that situation one day when your boss asks you for some data analysis and all you've ever used in law school and undergrad is Word? Don't be! Learn the formulas and keyboard shortcuts you'll need to succeed....
5) Introductory Chess Lessons x 4
6) A lesson on how to play cribbage (aka crib) - a card game Wikipedia says requires the skills of strategy, tactics, and counting! The game can include two to four players (so myself and up to three others). And one lucky individual will get to take home his or her very own crib board for future play/enjoyment.
7) A crash course in criminal geographic targeting: Ever dreamed of catching serial killers? Better yet, do you want to learn to avoid being caught by serial killers? Are you unafraid of math? If the answer is yes, this is for you!
BODY
1) Want to have a sweet J? How about a basketball shooting lesson. (Max was such a high school basketball stud they retired his jersey)
2) Golf lesson and a round on a 9-hole course with an instructor who knows way too many golf puns OR 2x tennis lessons. With tennis, I promise no puns will drive a wedge between us
3) 10 spots in Joanna & Morgan's 8-week Experimental Yoga Extravaganza: 10 bidders are invited to join Joanna and Morgan in an 8-week yoga class they will be designing and implementing on Wednesday evenings during February and March. Are you bored of sun salutations? We want to try new things: contact yoga, yogadance, live accompaniment, chanting, who knows what else!
4) How to throw a frizbee (forehand and backhand)
5) 1 hour swimming lesson - best for people who do NOT know how to swim.
6) Skating lessons and hot chocolate (either at an outdoor rink or Upper Canada College's new area - your choice)
7) 1 - 45 minute learn to row session on an indoor rower (the "erg") + 10 easy to get started erg workout plans that will have you coming back for more.
8) 1 hour tennis lesson & lunch
9) Introductory ballroom dancing lessons (x2)
10)A personal training session at U of T Athletic Centre plus help in designing a workout plan that works.
LANGUAGE
1) 3 1-hour Japanese Lessons
2) 3 hours of beginner or intermediate French lessons
RANDOM
1) Design a website for you or your club
2) Hand tied fly-fishing lures (one dozen)
3) Life coaching for a month
4) Nanny services for one evening - references available - very experienced - all ages
5) Screenwriting Workshop
6) A poem on a topic of your choice (yes, even administrative law) in a poetic style of your choice (yes, even an epic ballad about RonCarelli). It will rhyme, follow a consistent meter and will be understandable without the aid of an english phd student on psychadelic drugs. Publication in a student newspaper can also be arranged (assuming you picked a PG-rated topic).
7) "Not a morning person? For 1 week I will supply you with the following items every morning before class: 1 steaming hot cup of coffee/tea and 1 freshly baked muffin/scone; 1 original compliment (note, I am amenable to complementing based on any theme, for example “reasons why you will get a summer job” or “reasons why you are super fly”);1 pump up song (printed lyrics included);1 pat on the back (including a “go get ‘em tiger!”); and 1 inspirational quote to keep you motivated for the rest of the day (also theme based).
8) 4 free "cab" rides - I will drive you where you need to go (in Toronto) and you can pick the music! (Do you need someone to pick you up at the airport? Drive you to Costco? Ikea? etc.)
9) One complete bicycle tune-up, with option to have me concurrently teach you how it’s done.
10)I will edit your next three essays with the kind of intense scrutiny that is usually reserved for making my loved ones/roommates cry.
11)Resume/Cover Letter Help. I am quite the expert at drafting cover letters/resumes and will help you sell yourself on paper. I will sit down with you for an hour (or however long it takes) and provide brutally honest feedback about how you can improve your CV and work with you on crafting a good cover letter. I will then edit your finished product. As a bonus, I am also willing to sit down with you over lunch to talk about career strategy and how to best position yourself in the marketplace.
Thank you for your support! Andrew Stobo Sniderman
